Today is just another day. At least that’s my rationalization of it all.
I have been off work for 3 weeks. I have posted maybe once or twice in that time, but in general I have been a zombie for pretty much all of that time. Your probably not asking yourself “why you been off?” But I am gone tell you anyway, my way of coming clean with the world. Pretty much by Monday everyone I come into contact with is gonna know if they don’t already.
I guess you could say, I had a breakdown. I wasn’t handling life too well. I got to a stage where I was hearing voices and shaking uncontrollably. I cut myself in what can only be deemed a subliminal cry for help, I don’t actually remember cutting just it dawning on me that there was blood on the desk and my hand stung like a motherfucker.
I saw the mental health support worker and I got put on some heavy duty drugs to help me out and all they really did was put me to sleep for two and a half weeks.
Fast forward through lots of sleeping and lots of soul searching conversations (with myself and with Linda) and we come to my last day of my “Holiday in Insanity”. I am going back to work Monday, and as many people have asked “Are you ready”, I’ll be damned if I know for sure, but we’ll find out Monday at 8pm, by which time it will be too late to change anything anyway.
I am still on the heavy duty drugs so I still have to be a bit careful how I approach life, and not try and stretch myself to far to quick, but I’ll beat this shit and it won’t kill me.
Until Next Time…