I have had to take, over the past two days extra does of Lorazapam. For the first time in a long time I have encountered side effects that others recount daily. Sluggish body slurred speech over tiredness and general apathy. I have hated having to take the pills but I know that it was either take them or be stuck at home for yet another weekend.
We (Mum and I) have come down to the south coast to see my Brother and his family. A much needed break away from the confines of the four walls I had been occupying of late. Seeing the kids is great seeing Nik and Esther is great. I have foudn though that it is not just Corby that I hate it’s the great outdoors. Thursday travelling was a nightmare, travelling into London just off rush hour was mental. The intercity train was kind of quiet which was a bonus.. we had seats reserved but read the tickets wrong so we had non reserved seats in the quiet car of the train…(NO MP3 PLAYERS ALLOWED). I had taken one of the Lorazapam i had mentioned before about an hour before we left and yes it calmed my nerves a little but the crowds and the hustle and bustle was a little more than i would have liked.I was fine once I got to Niks though… Nik being his usual Nikness I didn’t feel my stresses for too long.
Friday we had decided to go out to see Mums sisters for the day whilst the kids were at school. I was so hungover from the double shot of Lorazapam on Thursday…(the extra plus my normal dose at bedtime) I didn’t think it was really a good idea to take another one so soon as my speech was slurred enough as it was. My aunties and cousins must have thought I was out of it or something as I couldn’t be my normal verbose and outgoing chirpy self, it was too hidden by the drugs.
I lasted virtually the whole day without an extra pill, it was only when Mum and her sisters decided that tehy wanted to go to Morrisons that I had to take a step back and sit on a wall outside the store while they went in and pop another pill. After about an hour I was back to being my docile self again.
Once back home it was the first time we had spent with the kids and the extra Lorazapam kinda slowed them down to a Formula one car speed in my mind. I don’t remember ever having that much energy as a kid. They are great kids and are growing into fine young people who know their manners and listen (most of the time) to what is being said to them. To make things a little more special they decided for themselves that they would rather skip their Friday Church Youth group meeting so they could spend some time with Mum and I. As I said they are special kids.
Today I just couldn’t face the day, I couldn’t face the idea of waking up and being active. I have been sleeping on the couch in the lounge here so until I had woken up the kids can’t watch TV or make much noise and when i didn’t get up till gone 10.30 i was met witha slightly bemused and a little grumpy Kieran who told me off for sleep half the day away. I guess i got between him and Ben 10 this morning.
I did go back to sleep for a while after breakfast. I crashed down in the room mum is sleeping in. I had to sleep of the Lorazapam or I would have been a grouch all day. After my little nap I got up and did nothing for the rest of the day but sit around and talk computers and stuff with Nik. We ate Chinese food tonight and it was good to be around family again just eating good food and bullshitting the night away. and here I sit now up to date with you avoiding the plague that is the X Factor on TV. I hate that programme with a passion but everyone else thinks it’s classic TV. Maybe i just don’t get it, but i can’t think of anything worse that pinning my hopes on the Great British Public’s voting powers when it comes to reality TV. But hey I aint getting into that here. I don’t want to spoil a good thing by sullying it with bile.
Hope everyone is safe this weekend.
Until Next Time…