As I suspected yesterday I bottled it and cancelled my appointment this morning. Well I tried to cancel it but apparently it wasn’t booked until next Monday which is a bank holiday so after playing some phone tag we got it sorted so that the appointment has been rescheduled for the 11th May. I didn’t go to get the blood test done either I just couldn’t face being out in public with all the staring faces looking at me. I don’t know what they are staring at but it feels like they know something about me and they are judging me on that one thing. Whether it’s my size or my Bipolar I don’t know, but they are staring and talking about me for some reason. I couldn’t put it into words this morning so I couldn’t properly explain it to Mum she had to blindly trust in that
“I just don’t feel up to it”
was all she was going to get from me and that was it.
I took my mind of everything today by organizing my movies and radio shows on my computer for 6 hours and pretty much ignored everything else.
I wish I had something else to do other than sit in front of either the computer or the TV.
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