Walking Through Mud

IT feels like that some times. I don’t feel particularly down tonight… a bit peeved that at ten to three in the morning I am not tired, Instead I am sat here typing this out and listening to the original concept album of Jesus Christ Superstar.
It’s been a weird afternoon and evening. It started out with Linda getting home earlier than Mum, something that I don’t think has happened in at least a year. That’s not all that strange in and of itself but it threw me for a loop. Dunno why it just did,,, I have my order in the day and that just screwed it right up.

I had my third meeting with the Anxiety Management people on Monday. This time I was given homework. We spent an hour that in all honesty felt like three hours, talking about me. We talked so much I was sick of hearing about it. I think that’s they way it works… you talk about you anxieties until you bore them into submission. My homework for the week is:

  • Keep an Anxiety Diary – Detailing individual anxious moments and how you overcame them and how much anxiety you felt on a scale of 1-10
  • To out into Public spaces and if I feel Paranoid because I think people are staring at me I am to mentally say “NO!!! IT’S NOT HAPPENING”
  • Have at least 1 hour a day of ME time. To relax and just be on my own and not have to worrie about anything else. To try and achieve Zero anxiety

It’s all well and good me having homework to do but it’s being able to get out and put myself into stress inducing situations. I am of the mindset that you only go out when you have something to do… and unless you have something to do don’t waste the energy. But I’ll do my best.

Ok I have sat up long enough… I am going to try and sleep. keep your fingers crossed for me.

Until Next Time…

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