Worms… Your Honour

So it’s been a couple of weeks but nothing much has changed. I am still fluctuating between rage at the world and maddening depression. One day I want to rip some ones head off and piss down the throat of my victim, the next day I don’t want to get out of bed and function in any way that would even resemble normality. I am dealing with it the best I can. my Psychiatrist has taken me of the promazine and started Lorazapam again twice daily with an optional third if I need it. All the time I spent during last year getting of Lorazapam has all been undone in one phone call. It wasn’t until someone mentioned to me that I had Medication Management to get off the bloody things before that I put two and two together. Oh well, at least I am not a zombie for the whole day just most of the AM period with the Zopiclone.

I have noticed that my “normal” everyday drugs are making me more drowsy. I don’t know why or how I am noticing this because the Zopiclone masks so much of what I feel. But there have been days where I haven’t taken Zopiclone and have still felt whacked out by the drugs from the night before. I am losing weight, maybe that has some effect on the side effects. The weight has been coming off for over two years and I am now down to my lowest weight in years certainly since I came back from the states in 2002.

Talking of weight loss, last Wednesday I started taking twice daily injections of a drug called Byetta. If you can’t be bothered to read all that guff and to be honest I got lost a few times getting through it, Byetta is a diabetes drug that is pretty new to the market and is kinda unique in my drug regime… It induces weight loss. The way it works is that you inject any time an hour before you eat and as you eat signals are sent to your brain saying that you have eaten enough and are getting full, thus making you eat less. This in theory is great but when you don’t gauge how much is enough you end up with a delayed bloating and you can feel very uncomfortable for several hours afterwards as I have found out most of the past week. Tonight is probably the first night where I haven’t felt uncomfortable, that’s mainly because we only had grilled ham and cheese toasties for dinner.. which is just two ham and cheese sandwiches and that wouldn’t normally phase me but tonight I feel like I have eaten a full meal. It’s a learning curve and no doubt by the time I go back to have my dosage increased I’ll have another two weeks of getting used to it. I just hope it’s doing the diabetes side of things good too. Eating less is only part of my struggle though… for it to be truly effective I have to start actively trying to keep fit. I don’t like the sound of it but I may have to dust off the exercise bike and try putting in a few miles on that thing.

Well That’s about all from me tonight.. I leave you with a little Pinkness.. Run Like Hell from Knebworth in 1990… my mate Nigel was there… Lucky Bastard.

Until Next Time…

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