Yesterday we went and met our new GP for the first time. All three of us went en mass to see him, we booked three 10 minute slots with him and needless to say we were there over an hour. I bet he didn’t get home for his tea on time as by the time we had finished with him at 5.30pm his waiting room was filling up nicely.
Now let’s get things straight from the start. He seems like a nice bloke. He is Dutch and is easily understandable. I think once he gets used to the way we work with our primary carers he won’t be so quick to jump on small matters at a rate of knots.
Mum saw him first and she was in there a good 20 minutes (remember the ten minute slots) and once she came out she was suitably impressed as he had given her a few things to think about and had changed up her meds a little to make things a bit easier on her. This should have set my mind racing straight away but I was sure that A GP wouldn’t mess around with another Doctors prescriptions bar making a few changes to the type of pill being taken (Slow Release Metformin for Diabetes as an example.)
Another chap was a few minutes late for his appointment but they put him in after Mum had come out.. so I had a few more minutes to wait, but being the dumb arse that I am I wasn’t putting two and two together and getting worried that I may need a back up plan for my appointment. The chap that went in before me must have been a real simple case as he was in and out in 5 or 6 minutes. No waiting around… his style is one out one in. Not like my old Doctor who would let one person go and then wait ten minutes for the next patient to be called in.
I was next to be called in, and seeing as I can never be trusted to see a doctor on my own when I forget so much Linda came in with me. He offered his hand and I shook it (good start methinks.) I sit down and we get the small talk out of the way and I hand him my repeat prescription to show him the cocktail I was on. This, folks, is where the alarm bells began ring loud and fucking proud. He picked up on my taking Risperidone and Lorazapam at the same time. For those who don’t remember (and why should you) the Risperidone is for the Psychosis, the voices and hallucinations and the Lorazapam is for the anxiety I get just getting out of bed in the morning. Lorazapam is one of the drugs I was weaned off of early last year but had a hard time staying off of them and was put back on them pretty soon after I started losing my shit on a regular basis during the summer of last year.
He looked at the repeat for a moment or two and then totally off the wall started to suggest that he take me off Risperidone. Just like that. I was dumbfounded. I had not been in his office for more than 5 minutes and this dude had decided that one of the most stabilising drugs I take was surplus to requirements. I flubbed, hummed and arhhhed for a second or two and said “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” For the life of me I couldn’t get the words out to explain why it wasn’t a good idea, just that “it wasn’t a good idea”
In the 7 years after being diagnosed with Bipolar my GP has NEVER suggested anything like that. MY old GP would only make changes when someone had fucked up somewhere along the line and it needed fixing so I didn’t start a meltdown. If he had pushed the situation I would have walked out there and then and looked for another GP. I made it quite clear that I wanted to be referred to the CHMT in the area and he stated that he had already set things in motion for that. MY heckles went down a couple of notches and we moved on to my Diabetes treatment.
The rest of the appointment was a bit of a blur, I do remember that I mention my last retinal screening threw up some irregularities on the back of my eyes, and he has referred me to the local retinal screening team to get my eyes retested and get new pictures done. I think more than anything else… (BP aside) my eyes are my main worry. If I lose my eyes I am screwed. I would make a terrible blind person. I can’t touch type with out looking at the keyboard… which kinda defeats the object of touch typing I know but hey it works for me. After he had finished with me I just wanted out of his office. I left Linda in there to deal with him for herself.
Before I left his office he suggest a couple of changes to my medication… both changing types of release drugs for my diabetes and Seroquel. Both are now on a slow release prescription and I have no problems with those changes as I know the drugs are going to do the same job just over a sustained period of time and for a change I may not get the hit of being wiped out by a 200mg hit of Seroquel in the evening and I may not feel so tired in the morning.
I’ll give him his due, he seems to know about his medication. Talking to my Brother and Sister In Law this afternoon, it turns out that this fella is anti medication. Well he is shit out of luck with us three and we are on enough pills to start our own Pharmacy. I know any small changes made to my regimen can send me off the deep end and I think that’s what worried me the most about this guy just changing my script without any of the facts. I am not currently under the CMHT and would have no where to turn if things went tits up in the interim. I am not willing to put myself or my family in that kind of position. I guess I should have been more on the ball in the appointment but you drugs and all that dull the brains kids… This is your brain…. This is your brain on drugs SMOOSH.
On the whole I have been holding my shit together mostly, I do feel a little abandoned as I have no where to turn, this has caused my mood to dip noticeably over the past week or so. I am putting it down to the fact everything is up in the air and the new year blues. It’s nothing that others aren’t feeling this time of year. I was hoping that my head would allow me to get out and do more things independently once the big move had been made, but so far I am still hiding away and still have trouble with Supermarkets. I avoid going into them if at all possible and would rather stay home and wait for a phone call saying Mum and Linda need help with the bags from the Taxi. I know I need to make changes but it all seems so hard at the moment. I just can’t do the normal things yet and that is really bugging me. I need to start to find excuses to go out and follow through on them. Going to the Library seems like a good place to start. Will look into this next week. One of my non resolutions is to read more this year. I need to expand my mind more than just surfing the internet and playing on Facebook and Twitter (NOT that I plan on giving them up for one second… but there has to be more to it than just that.)
Oh well this is almost 1500 words.. and I have waffled on long enough, so if you’re not sick of hearing it yet, Happy New Year and I hope it’s all good for you or at least less bolloxy than last year.
Squeak at ya’ll later.
Until Next Time…