The clouds are moving fast outside. They seem to be racing faster than my mind is right now, which means they are going at a rate of knots. I have been up since 2am it’s now 7.30am.
I woke up from the same nightmare I have been having for the past two weeks. I can’t shake the mental images and I have no way of stopping them. The dreams are all encompassing. They dominate my night time and in my waking hours they are fleeting through my mind all the time.
I have another post that is too hard to write that I have had started for almost a week. I started it and got 750 words into it and had to stop. IT is going to sit in my drafts folder until I face up to what it’s about and finish it. Not posting it makes everything I have just written almost to cryptic to be true. I wish that I had the balls to finish writing it and get it over and done with instead of it just sitting there staring at me every time I come onto the blog to check for spam comments (I do this 4 or 5 times a day.)
I still don’t have any contact with the local CMHT. It’s now getting on towards two months since I asked the GP for a referral. I need some kind of support right now. I need to work these dreams out with a professional. I need to unload my head onto someone who isn’t going to feel bad or judge me for what I say. It’s hard. I have never known a time when I didn’t have a handy phone number to call when I needed it. I think if I haven’t heard by tomorrows mail run I will ring the GP and see if he can chase it up and hurry them up a bit.
I am almost to tired to finish writing this so rather than have it end up just another draft waiting to be completed, I am just going to sign off and say,
Until Next Time…