It’s been a funny couple of weeks. Life had been a swing and a roundabout away from being liveable. I haven’t had to many down periods but then again I haven’t had that many up periods either. Just fleeting glances at happiness, or deep looks into an abyss that has no bottom. What makes it [...]
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We Have No Bananas
March 26th, 2010
It’s nearly 3am and I should be asleep. Actually let me rephrase that… Normally I would be asleep, but tonight is different. Tonight I couldn’t take any sleeping pills because I have to be up before noon tomorrow which is something I haven’t managed in the past week whilst taking the pills. I have been [...]
Worms… Your Honour
March 19th, 2010
So it’s been a couple of weeks but nothing much has changed. I am still fluctuating between rage at the world and maddening depression. One day I want to rip some ones head off and piss down the throat of my victim, the next day I don’t want to get out of bed and function [...]
Slipping
February 27th, 2010
I am slipping further down the rabbit hole. My name is not Alice but lonely Brit boy. I was once a rider on life’s great journey, now I am just a passenger on life’s steam roller. Rolling, plundering over grass and ground glass. There is no beauty in my eyes any more, I don’t seem [...]
Sunday Sunday
February 21st, 2010
Here’s the dealio daddio. I have been up since 5.30am (that’s with taking Zopiclone at 1am). It’s now 18.45 and I haven’t slept yet. Feeling a bot weary with it all and just wondering why I decided to wash all the bed linen in one go. I am sure that brain fart was waiting to [...]
Scherwinnnnng
February 10th, 2010
Well I saw my doctor today and he wasn’t a great deal of help, but then again what can you really say when a 19 stone bloke comes into your office and tells you he’s having a problem with Rage. I guess you don’t piss him off for fear of him sitting on you. He [...]
Goals
February 8th, 2010
I wish I had a set of goals that I could look towards. Something to build my life up to. At the moment all I can manage is just to get up in the morning and keep my ass awake for the duration. I have started taking the Zopiclone at night to get me to [...]
Rage
February 2nd, 2010
It’s uncontrollable. It’s from the very pit of my soul. It’s a rage that is burning hard and heavy. I wish I could douse the flames and not feel this overwhelming anger towards everything. I am doing myself no favours. I am doing no one else any favours. It’s just an ever turning spinning on [...]
Working Overtime…
January 6th, 2010
Well we are 6 days into 2010 and it’s dilemma time already. For the past ten days or so I have been obsessing over stuff. It’s mostly Doctor Who, but there is other stuff to. I have spent about £100 on Doctor Who DVD’s and I want to spend more. It is taking some real [...]
Happy Nude Rear
January 2nd, 2010
So Christmas and New Years have come and gone and I made it through it. I spent my time watching loads of TV and not eating a great deal. My appetite for food has gone out of the window. I find myself going the whole day without anything to eat and still not being hungry [...]
