Category Archives: Music TV and Movies

Happy Nude Rear

So Christmas and New Years have come and gone and I made it through it. I spent my time watching loads of TV and not eating a great deal. My appetite for food has gone out of the window. I find myself going the whole day without anything to eat and still not being hungry when it comes to dinner time so I only eat a small meal. It’s bizarre because I used to eat like a pig….not in a trough but I used to eat everything I could lay my hands on. I am hoping to get onto a new diabetes drug in the new year that REQUIRES me to eat twice a day, It can’t be healthy for me not to eat and take all this chemical crap I throw down my throat every day.

Over Christmas and New Years I have had a few drinks. Nothing to much, nothing to heavy just a bottle of red wine spread out over Christmas Day and New Years Day and a couple of glasses of cheap Bucks Fizz we bought last year and never got around to drinking (I think it fermented sat in our kitchen to be honest). I don’t feel any real side effects from drinking like I have done in the past. Maybe because in the past I have been drinking beer and the odd spirit and this time I avoided them and stuck with the fruity stuff. If I have no major mood swings in the next couple of days maybe my dry days are behind me and I can join the human race in enjoying the odd glass of something alcoholic in the future, just as long as I know my limits.

The Doctor looking a little battered

The highlight of the holidays for me was the Finale of David Tennants Doctor Who tenure. It was rounded off with two very epic specials. The first on Christmas day was roundly turned on by raving fanboys and girls for being to sporadic and not having much of a cohesive storyline. But if you sat back and saw it for what it was and took it as advertised Part 1 of a 2 part story then you would (in my mind) have gotten better mileage from the story. The second part that was aired on New Years Day (Last Night) was by far and away the most moving Doctor Who episode I have ever seen. I welled up with a lump in my throat a few times. I think I got away with it.. but knowing my luck Mum and Linda were looking just as that bloody great lump in my throat erupted and saw me swallowing it down.

All in all, I thought the story was very strong, yes there were little niggles in Part one where you were left wondering why this was happening and what possibly be the point in the two spiky headed aliens. They seemed to be thrown in there for comedic effect and in the grand scheme of Part One they were, but they were there for Part two. As I said it’s a story of two halves and should be looked at that way.

The Maniacal Master

It was great to see so much (and I mean MUCH) of John Simm as The Master. He was spellbinding as the maniacal raving cannibalistic TimeLord gone wrong. I think that it takes a writer with MASSIVE balls to pony up and write a fulfilling back story for a well established character like The Master. Russell T Davies did this and answered all the questions I ever had about The Master but never knew I wanted to know. I guess when Roger Delgardo was playing the master opposite Jon Pertwee back in the early 70′s it wasn’t even considered that the two of them were childhood friends that romped across the red paddocks of Gallifrey.

Another big Christmas present for me was the return of the TimeLords. If you only knew of the new Who and hadn’t ventured back into the classic mythology you needn’t have worried as it was all explained for the new Who time line. The only shout out to the old Who crowd was naming the Timothy Dalton character Rassilon (which is a name from the old show if you don’t know). I was a little sad that the TimeLords weren’t used as much as they could have been. Ideally that whole storyline could have taken up a special set of shows on there own. It added a fix to the Master Race storyline and that is all they seemed to do. I know that sounds like a put down and I guess if I am honest it is, but it was still good to see them back. I hope Steven Moffat sees the need to use them again in Matt Smiths era of Doctor Who. Talking of Matt Smith we got our very first look at the new and (not quite sure if he is) improved Doctor. Far to little seen of him to tell if he is going to be a good replacement. But he has the energy that seems to be lacking from the spoiler pictures that have leaked out over the past 6 or 7 months since they have been filming in Cardiff. But the lines about not being a girl and not being Ginger made me smile and I’ll be damned if that guy didn’t bring his whole scrawny knee right up to his lips and kiss his own leg.

Anyway that’s my review of the Christmas Specials. I hope you got to see them or are going to get to see them. It’s a great and fitting way to say goodbye to an Actor who has made the part his own and bought Doctor Who back to the kids again. Bless Ya David Tennant

Genetics

I have a few websites that I read daily (actually I read some of them ten times a day, mostly news sites).
One of them is entertainment website Digital Spy. I read it mostly for it’s cult section and the forums can be fun at times. But Occasionally a strange article will catch my eye, in a section that I would never normally read. Today that happened and it was in the Eastenders section. Now I have to say that I hate with a passion all the soaps. They are almost as bad as Reality TV. In this house that doesn’t leave me much TV time. Anyway getting back to the train of thought I was on… This article is about a storyline that is currently playing out on Eastenders. The story line is based around the character Stacy Slater and her finding out that she is Bipolar. Here is a link to the story. i won’t go into the story line but from my understanding of the whole premise is that her Mother Jean has bipolar and now Stacey has it too. See I just cut down a whole months worth of boring soap land pap into one sentence… I’d be a crap soap opera writer.

This whole thing lead me to start thinking about the rationale behind the whole Bipolar is a Genetic condition. I have not seen any concrete evidence that states that it is and on the same hand I haven’t seen any that disproves it. I guess in the cold light of day it should make sense that it’s genetic seeing as it’s a chemical imbalance in your brain which could be classed as part of your genetic make up. In my case though is where the whole theory falls flat on its arse. Neither of my parents were/are Bipolar. Now the illness could have skipped a generation as my maternal grandfather was a Manic Depressive.

I only met him once and I don’t remember that because I was way to young. But from what I have been told that he was quite severely ridden with the illness. He went through Electro Shock Therapy in the bad old days where you would get your noodle fried and lose days of memories and be catatonic for a week after the treatment.

I don’t know if my illness is directly contributed too by my grandfathers illness but there COULD be a link. A Link that I think deserves more research. BUT dear readers that is where I am at a loss. I have tried googling bipolar genetic links and haven’t come up with anything that gives any firm answers ( I know that here is not a definite yes or no answer but i need more than the usual we surveyed 34 people and their great aunts type survey). So if you know of any good links with articles please leave a comment with a link or two.

Also if you have any opinions about this leave a comment and let me know your thoughts.

Until Next Time…

It’s time…

I went to the doctors with Linda this morning. I had an ulterior motive, I wanted to get the results of my COPD test that I was forced to take a couple of weeks ago. COPD for this not in the know is the new fangeled way of saying Emphasyma. I was pissed when I got the letter asking me to go. I didn’t need anything else wrong with me and I certainly didn’t want anyone telling me my lungs were shot to shit. I know I have problems… I am Asthmatic and I am a smoker. Not the best combination to have but I am also a loon who needs the calming relief of that smoking brings. That all changed this morning when I was told that I have the lungs of a 68 year old. “Cool” was my first reaction… I have the lungs of Keith Richards and I didn’t have as much fun. Then the reality kicked in not to long after that and I solemnly said to the Doc,
“Time to quit eh?”
I so wanted him to give me another out like he had in the past when we discussed my quitting and it not being a good idea at the time with my BP. No such luck today. Today he was all:
“Well it would help your lungs and not too mention it would help some with your diabetes and cleaning up your blood so it works better”
My heart sank and it dawned on me that I would have to give up one of my two and a half remaining vices and I’ll be damned if I am giving up Sex and Coffee.

So as of the end of my open packet of tobacco I am going smoke free. Which means I will be posting a lot more about how fucking miserable I am and how the world hates me… I hate myself right now. I never wanted to start smoking but was lulled into it being a week ass pussy and listening to my Best Friend at school saying:
“It’s not that bad”
Asshats the pair of us, me and him.

Mum and Linda have said they would quit with me. I’ll see that happen I am sure… when hell freezes over.
The way I see it is I just have to be strong twenty times a day and weak willed and limp for the other 20 hours of the day. I can cut that down some by sleeping and doing more proactive things…. I plan on getting our gardens in some kind of shape. So that will take two or three days to help get the crap out of my system. I just have to break that initial habit of rolling them and lighting up.

In other news, I have downloaded and am listening to a 1993 version of Jesus Christ Superstar US A.D Tour. It brings together the two leads from the 1973 film Ted Neeley as Jesus and Carl Anderson as Judas. They both sound great and it’s a great show. I saw the 2000 DVD release of the 2000 revival in London and that one is a lot more urban than this. This I think is a lot more faithful to the original version than some others I have heard and seen. Superstar can often in the wrong hands be a dangerous beast, it’s so easy to over do the camp late 60′s early 70′s Hippy crap or to the other extreme make the whole thing look like it’s guerilla warfare in the confrontation scenes.

On Monday I had my second Pathways to Work meeting and I have drawn the conclusion that it’s going to a long slog to get back to work. Not that I am rushing back at the moment. My health is no where near at the advanced stage that would even get me out there to face the rejection of not getting the jobs I go up for. The way I see it, is that people are not going to hire a loon like me when there are 25 perfectly sane people waiting in line before me. People who don’t have the baggage to have to get medically stoned to leave the house.

My post on religion is still in the works and I promise I will have yet another stab at getting it up and posted either today or tomorrow. I have to rationalise everything as I go along as it’s the way I roll. I have the basic outline but it’s fleshing it out so it’s more than just : I am Blah blah I believe Blah Blah. I want to give a reasoned argument for the way I feel the way I do.

That’s about it from me for now.

Until Next Time…

Voices In My Head

I have a new toy. I have an iPod and it came at just the right time. My voices are attacking me full pelt this week. It’s been so hard to concentrate without music playing, my family think I have gone off them as I have been plugged into the bloody thing since Friday morning when it arrived. It’s “Chromatic Green” as the sales bumph would have me told. It’s the 16gig version so I have a few audio books and about 50 albums on there. I didn’t realise how eclectic my musical tastes were till I tried to put a play list together for an iPod.

ipodI feel like I am now a fully fledged gadget freak. From my first little 128mb no name mp3 player I had 5 years ago to have having the named mp3 player today. I don’t like to rush things, but from what I have experienced the past three days I will never buy anything other than iPod from now on. I’ll even buy them as gifts for people who don’t want them. I have been listening to lots of different music lately… Kings of Leon why haven’t I heard these guys before Only By The Night is a great album and they deserved their Brit award the other night. The Foo Fighters another band that my little brother has been badgering me to listen to. Now I have I am gonna have to look up more of their stuff. I have even found the time to listen to the whole of the Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy audio book for the first time in god knows how long. I didn’t realise how much I had missed not listening to it through headphones. I mean you aren’t missing out on subliminal messages or anything like that, but you actually have the words going straight into your head and not wafting around the room when you listen through speakers. I have listened to the radio play so many times I know it virtually verbatim but the book has so much more detail…. I have encoded the other four books into audio book format and have them on my iPod too so when I get a few hours when i don’t feel like listening to music I can listen to a book.

Surprisingly to me it doesn’t matter what I am listening to it seems to quiet the voices. I had always though that listening to a spoken word piece would be too cluttered as the voices would over power it, but listening to HHGTTG didn’t get overpowered. It was a pleasant surprise.

In Other BP related news. I have been discharged from the care of my CPN. Apparently she has a new “ROLE” within the mental heath team and is no longer “on the road.” I am to still call the MHT if I need them but my main care will be through the medication management team and my PDoc. Now this is not to bad It was the same as it was before I was assigned a CPN, but I have two small problems with this set up. The last three MM meetings have been cancelled (no Scratch that) EVERY meeting with the medication Management team has been cancelled and I have no appointment to start again. I got myself so psyched up to take part in this and gove it my all and now they are playing silly arses. The other problems was raised earlier this week when we called down to the MHT to find out when my last appointment was (My IB50 form needed that info) and my mum was told that my next Pdoc appointment was not scheduled until MAY. that would be about a 4 month gap between meetings… I am not happy about that esspecially seeing as the MM meetings aren’t happening and my medications are on the frizz again. A Psychotic episode like the one I am in at the moment hasn’t lasted this long in quite some time and it’s starting to worry me.

But anyway I have to go to bed now, I have a meeting in the morning with a team of employment trainers who are going to help me get trained for some kind of work in computers (I hope). It was set up for me by the Pathways to Work people I met with last Monday as part of the Incapacity Benefit agreement. I have to have 5 of these meetings and as long as I keep attending and saying all the right things and doing all the right things and not messing up in my usual style I will get to keep my benefit as long as I need it and who knows I may actually get trained to do a job I enjoy rather than hate and get stressed about. We’ll see.

Until Next Time…

Getting Jiggy With Bipolar

Yes folks it’s time to get jiggy… or at least talk about getting jiggy.
This isn’t as random as it sounds. I got a weekly email from Bipolar Connect this week just gone, and it’s main headline was  The Top Ten Ways To Support Your Bipolar Mate. I love lists like this they always make me laugh… usually not in a good way either. They are usually full of flowery sentiments and they lose the realness factor and you have to have a sugar induced diabetes coma session to get through it all. So I read this article with trepidation and not half way through I was sat there with tears in my eyes. Let me quite you what struck me as funny:

4. Remember that we have certain strengths and super-hero abilities at times. Take advantage of this. For example, if we go hypomanic and suddenly desire intimacy for hours on end, or multiple times per day, help us out. Keep in mind our meds sometimes take this desire away for months on end, so when it does come around use this to your advantage. You might even go so far as to say “Paint the house and I’ll fulfil that little fantasy you’ve been hinting at for years…” The house will be painted in a matter of hours.

It was the Help us out line that got me… almost pleading.
Having the depressive side of Bipolar I don’t get many hypermanic sexual urges. It takes a lot to get me interested at the best of times. I do however occasionally use sex as an anti depressant and the endorphins rush helps for a while. But I am buggered if I am gonna paint the house just to get to see linda dressed up as Princess Leia from Star Wars… I have a good imagination :o )

Princess Leia

I knew if i tried long enough I could tie Bipolar to Star Wars. Ohhh could it be I am in a reasonable mood today… well yes it could be assumed that that was the case. I didn’t wake up until noon and then i just laid in bed listening to the Tennis. From there I got up and made breakfast and burnt everything (Go Me!!!) and after that I have just sat around doing not a lot, which is pretty usual for me lately, but for some reason no one has been on my back about anything. It’s been fun watching Mum squirm every time it started snowing… she hates the stuff and has claimed that she has had a word with the authorities that be that the snow is going to totally bypass Corby a bit like a crescent moon shape if you get my not very helpful simile.

On a totally unrelated note we watched the live broadcast of the band Elbow Live at Abbey Road with the BBC Orchestra last night. It was a blissful hour of great music done really well. The Orchestrations were top notch and the choir they had singing with them were great as well. On a Day Like This sounded the best I have ever heard it. I love the ending of that song where the band finish and it’s just vocals to the end with minimal rhythm section playing. Brilliant stuff.

This is a youtube version of Grounds for Divorce. This is the Directors Version of the video, not sure of the differences. I’ll have to pay more attention next time I am watching them. Enjoy

This is Grounds for Divorce. Not sure how long it will be available but I’ll leave it here till it expires. You can view the whole thing on the BBC website at this address Elbow Live In Concert. I do know for definite that the show in full is only available until the 7th of February 09 so get in there while it’s still available (NB: This is only available to those in the UK Sorry bout that folks outside of the UK)

Ok that does it from me for now.

Until Next Time…