Touchy feely relief

I needn’t of worried about my Life Skills workshop. The first get together was more like talk therapy.

There were far more people there than I thought there would be. There were probably 12-15 people there including facilitators. It was nice and relaxed to start with and then the interaction bit started. Introduce yourself to your neighbour and tell them a bit about yourself so they can feedback to the group about you and you can in turn do the same about them.

My memory is truly shot… we were talking for a good ten minutes and all I remembered was the poor ladies name and that her dog like to steal clothes of the washing line. She on the other hand remembered pretty much everything that I let slip about myself.

I did realise something rather sad. I am no longer the forthright person I used to be. I used to be the first and loudest to speak up in a group, now I am like a frikken wall flower sat in the corner waiting to be asked a direct question. Now I don’t know if that was because the group was so big and I just didn’t get my gums flapping quick enough, or was it the two Lorazapam that I took before the meeting (no way I was going in there clean…lol). After the group broke up and I walked down to the Taxi rank to get a cab home I kicked myself several times over for being a push over. I should have held my own a little more instead of being spoken over by other members of the group. Maybe next week will be different.

I slept well after the meeting. The Lorazapam has that effect on me. I have to take two when I go out as one doesn’t have much effect on me, the only downside to that is that when I finally get home and relax I start to nod off. It’s not that I mind the extra sleep, it can just be so inconvenient when I have other things I want to do. Idealy I would have posted this on Thursday Afternoon Evening but I was so whacked out I couldn’t form a sentence let alone a blog post. Friday wasn’t much better. I had everyone home and it was noisey as all hell in my head. I missed a couple of days medication this week and according to Linda this always sets me back for a week after. So that would explain the black mist I have had for the past few days. Oh Well.

That’s about it for me for now.

Until Next Time…

A Low Weekend

Friday and Saturday were really bad days for me. My mood swung so far down I didn’t think I would come out of it for a month. I felt like the whole world was against me and everything I did was wrong. I just sat at my computer or laid in bed not knowing what else to do. Mum and Linda got worried and were trying everything they could think of to try and cheer me up, nothing worked. Then Sunday came round and I started to feel a little better. I started my day out the same as every other day but things just started to pick up and by 4 o’ clock I was feeling a whole lot better, I started cracking jokes and generally starting to see the black mist rise up a bit.

We spent most of Saturday evening watching movies and that could have had something to do with lifting my mood. But at the time I had next to no interest in watching anything but the back of my eyelids. I persevered as I wasn’t tired and I knew that if I went to bed I would just lay there and think about how shit and crappy I felt, better the devil you know I guess.

As I sit here I try and figure out why my mood sank and I draw a blank, I think it was just a case of the chemicals in my brain going loopy again. It just goes to show me that what comes around quickly can leave again just as quick. quirky huh?

Just in case anyone is interested the movies we watched over the weekend:

  • Quantum of Solace
  • Seven Pounds
  • Wanted
  • Igor

All were great films. I highly recommend Seven Pounds a great film from Will Smith.

Until Next Time…