I have sat here this morning and reflected back at the past week or so and I have realised that depression has snuck up on me again. It really is a sneaky bastard. I knew I was having problems a couple of days ago where I was having increased voices in my head trouble, but this morning it’s all too evident that things are not going as planned. Continue reading
***Warning. This post is pretty intense in places with talk of Suicide and other triggering topics.***
This post could quite easily become one big cliché. I don’t intend it too but I am going to explain what has gone on over the past couple of weeks.
I want to say that men bottling things up is a misconception that I would never fall into, but the past two or three weeks have proved that I too am just as guilty as the next (literal) man. I always thought that I communicated my feelings to my family well. I thought they were on top of things when I was in a funk.
This past Wednesday proved that wrong. In the most heart breaking way possible. Continue reading
It’s been a while. In fact it feels so much longer than it actually has been.
There is a good reason, well I say good, it’s a reason to me and a damned good one. I am sure there are others who will understand and know what I am talking about.
For the past 3 months I have felt an overwhelming paranoia that has all but crippled me. I haven’t made more than 7 trips outside the house since December 23rd. Of those 7 trips I would hazard a guess that 4 of them were trips to a medical facility and entailed a taxi from my front door to the door of the hospital and the same in reverse. The other 3 times have been forced attempts at trying to break this feeling. It hasn’t worked. I am sat here now at almost 5am wondering how the hell I am going to manage going to a new place later today. Continue reading
It’s not been a good week for me. It’s been, for the most part pretty nondescript but right from Sunday morning it’s just gone further down hill. This week should have been a banner week for me. This week was the first chance I had to follow through on one of my New Years resolutions (Get More Involved.) I had had contact with a UK Mental Health charity about the possibility of doing some media work with them, the Spartacus Report was released and the Internet was a wild fire of activity, that looking back, I should have been so involved with. Continue reading
I meant to post the outcome of the discussion my CPN had with my Psych last week, but.. well.. life got in the way.
So, I saw my CPN today. As always he was alright about seeing me. very welcoming to both Me and Linda. We sat and had a little chat about how everything is going in general and how Linda was feeling after having Pneumonia. Then we got down to the nitty gritty of what’s really been going on.