Tag Archives: ESA

Sneaky

I have sat here this morning and reflected back at the past week or so and I have realised that depression has snuck up on me again. It really is a sneaky bastard. I knew I was having problems a couple of days ago where I was having increased voices in my head trouble, but this morning it’s all too evident that things are not going as planned. Continue reading

Support

Happy Leap day folks. I just had to post today so my archives would show a post from today.. sad aren’t I?

A fair bit has happened in the past week or so since I last post. My paranoia has started to subside. I still don’t look forward to going out in public, but I am making steps to force myself to face my fears within reason. I have never improved in my illness without an element of Gung Ho spirit being involved. My head space gets all bogged down with the fact that I can’t do something and I fulfil that attitude by listening to myself.. and god only knows I am my worst source of advice at the best of times. Continue reading

Spies

It’s been a while. In fact it feels so much longer than it actually has been.

There is a good reason, well I say good, it’s a reason to me and a damned good one. I am sure there are others who will understand and know what I am talking about.

For the past 3 months I have felt an overwhelming paranoia that has all but crippled me. I haven’t made more than 7 trips outside the house since December 23rd. Of those 7 trips I would hazard a guess that 4 of them were trips to a medical facility and entailed a taxi from my front door to the door of the hospital and the same in reverse. The other 3 times have been forced attempts at trying to break this feeling. It hasn’t worked. I am sat here now at almost 5am wondering how the hell I am going to manage going to a new place later today. Continue reading

Wants And Needs

As in years past I have said that I don’t “do” resolutions at the start of the year, I think I see a flaw in that outlook.

NO Resolutions = Nothing Getting Done

So with that in mind I am going to “suggest” a few things I can look back on now and again that I would hope a more motivated me would like to have done by this time next year. Continue reading