It’s official I now have a foreign body in me permanently. I had two more teeth pulled today and had them replaced with a lovely set of three new plastic ones. As I write this I want to remind myself when I read this back in years to come…. that IT BLOODY HURTS WHEN THE DRUGS WEAR OFF.
When I first went to the dentist all those months back I thought that I would be getting a face full of fakery and was pleasantly surprised when he told me that I would only need three falseys. What followed was a building of my confidence to be able to go to the dentists office on my own without the major need of Lorazapam. It almost felt comfortable to go there. Now I don’t have to go back for three to four months I wonder what I will replace my little victory jaunts with. For the next four weeks I have the Life Skills workshops to do and I attend them on my own. So that’s got my weekly trip out on my own. I really need to build up my solo flights so to speak.
I just want to apologise for the crappy post last night. I was kinda bummed out about I dunno what. I think it had something to do with the Life Skills workshop and some of the issues that were raised. I couldn’t tell you what they were specifically but the whole thing kid of bought me down. I did try and speak out a little more yesterday and I contributed a little more, I just wish I knew where the sparkling wit and jovial Me went. I miss him sometimes.
OK I am gonna head off and winge some more about my mouth being sore and try and figure out what I can eat without hitting the roof… Salt and Vinegar crisps should do the open wounds some good… I need a good cry anyway lol.
Oh yeah I am now going to subscribe to scary ducks LoL Theory – Read about it HERE
This post is proudly sponsored by Gold Blend Coffee and a lack of the tired.
Last Thursday i got a letter from DWP. I didn’t open it as I was kind of worried that it was most likely to do with the IB50 form I sent in a couple of weeks ago. I knew of only one reason they would be writing me back and that was to tell me to present myself to the DWP appointed doctor for a rigorous going over with a fine tooth comb to see how mad the Government thought I really was. I left the letter for about an hour till there was someone else around to console me after I opened it and went bat shit and lost all my marbles in one go.
I opened it slowly, like Charlie with his golden ticket. I really didn’t want to have the grilling medical assessment. I have read it’s a pain in the arse. I slowly read the letter and when I picked my jaw up off of the floor I handed it to mum. I didn’t need to have the medical this time after all, but I may need to take it in the future to ascertain if I am still disabled enough to keep receiving the Incapacity Benefit. I did a happy dance. There is nothing I find more daunting that having to face up to a doctor who is pissed off that he has to see the great unwashed from the dole centre again to try and convince him that at my worst I am a gibbering wreck and at best I can just about go to the garden gate without medication. At least that’s one hurdle I don’t have to jump over just yet.
Note – This post has taken me a little over 13 hours to write so far. I first opened the page up at around noon Wednesday and now it’s just gone 1am Thursday. I still have more to say… I think I may need more coffee soon…
I start my life skills workshops today. I am (from what I can glean from the leaflet) going to helped in learning how to handle stress and how to relax and overcome the negatives in my life so I can reduce on my drugs. Good luck to em is all I can say. I hate meeting new people and the thought of having to sit in a room full of strangers and open up about my feelings is probably what’s keeping me awake tonight. I wonder if they would object if they gave me the class notes and I just sat there with my iPod playing and I just visually observe the groups activities. Something tells me that that is not going to fly with these guys. Keep your fingers crossed it’s not all touchy feely and hippy claptrap or I maybe discharged from MHS before too long.
I have a date to start my Medication Management… April 7th. So that’s looking up. I’ll be in touch with my flowery side and they’ll be messing around with my drugs at the same time. I see loads of joyfull evenings staring at the computer monitor with Mr iPod blaring for company.
That’s about it from me tonight. I do have a post that I am working on about religion and my stance with for and against it. It’s something that I am learning more about everyday I live this life. It’s an interesting story I think… Your mileage may vary